Doctor Who: Revisiting BAD WOLF - Warped Factor - Words in the Key of Geek.

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Doctor Who: Revisiting BAD WOLF

Christopher Morley continues his retrospective of the Bad Wolf arc with the first part of the Series 1 finale...

With The Long Game, a seed was clearly planted. Bad Wolf is the beginning of its fruition! We now begin to see into the dark heart of the Game Station- the new name for what had been Satellite Five, and the Doctor finds himself a house-mate on the Big Brother of the year 2000,100..........

DOCTOR: What is it? What's happening?
LYNDA: Oh, my God! I don't believe it! Why'd they put you in there? They never said you were coming.
DOCTOR: What happened? I was....
LYNDA: Careful now. Oh! Oh, mind yourself! Oh, that's the transmat. It scrambles your head. I was sick for days. All right? So, what's your name then, sweetheart?
DOCTOR: The Doctor, I think. I was, er. I don't know, what happened? How...
LYNDA: You got chosen.
DOCTOR: Chosen for what?
LYNDA: You're a house-mate. You're in the house. Isn't that brilliant?!
Andy Warhol's famous quote about fifteen minutes of fame just might be about to come to fruition- not to be outdone, his companions find themselves on The Weakest Link & What Not To Wear respectively.
ROSE: What happened?
RODRICK: It's all right. It's the transmat. Does your head in. Get a bit of amnesia. What's your name?
ROSE: Rose. But where's the Doctor?
RODRICK: Just remember do what the android says. Don't provoke it. The android's word is law.
ROSE: What do you mean, android? Like a robot?
Robots do indeed serve as hosts here, cybernetic versions of Davina McCall, Anne Robinson and Trinny & Susannah doing the honours. All voiced by the human originals into the bargain!

Unsurprisingly Captain Jack can't resist camping it up now he's got a viewing audience to perform for.
ZU-ZANA: I don't know. He's sort of handsome. Has a good lantern jaw.
TRINE-E: Lantern jaws are so last year.
JACK: Sorry, nice to meet you, ladies, but where exactly am I?
TRINE-E: We're giving you a brand new image.
JACK: Oh, hold on, I was with the Doctor. Why, is there something wrong with what I'm wearing?
ZU-ZANA: It's all very twentieth century. Where did you get that denim?
JACK: A little place in Cardiff. It was called the Top Shop.
ZU-ZANA: Ah! Design classic.
TRINE-E: But we're going to have to find you some new colours. Maybe get rid of that Oklahoma Farm Boy thing you've got going on.
ZU-ZANA: Just stand still and let the Defabricator work its magic.
JACK: What's a defabricator?Okay. Defabricator. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?

While he's in the buff, the Doctor is given cause to ponder on what happened last time he was here-
DOCTOR: But it's all gone wrong. I mean, history's gone wrong again. This should be the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. I don't understand. Last time I was here I put it right.
LYNDA: No, but that's when it first went wrong. A hundred years ago, like you said. All the news channels, they just shut down overnight.
DOCTOR: But that was me. I did that.
LYNDA: There was nothing left in their place. No information. The whole planet just froze. The government, the economy, they collapsed. That was the start of it. One hundred years of hell.
In time will come the slow-dawning realisation ''Oh, my. I made this world. ''. Well, sort of. And some familiar foes led by an Emperor of the sort he first encountered during his Second incarnation await..........

DOCTOR: It looks like nothing because that's what this satellite does. Underneath the transmission there's another signal.
PAVALE: Doing what?
DOCTOR: Hiding whatever's out there. Hiding it from sonar, radar, scanner. There's something sitting right on top of planet Earth, but it's completely invisible. If I cancel the signal....
JACK: That's impossible. I know those ships. They were destroyed.
DOCTOR: Obviously, they survived.
LYNDA: Who did? Who are they?
DOCTOR: Two hundred ships. More than two thousand on board each one. That's just about half a million of them.
PAVALE: Half a million what?
DOCTOR: Daleks.
Quite a shock following the events of the mutually ruinous Time War, though Dalek had shown us at least one had survived prior to the reveal of the Emperor, who's got himself a bit of a god complex.
EMPEROR: Everything human has been purged. I cultivated pure and blessed Dalek.
DOCTOR: Since when did the Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?
EMPEROR: I reached into the dirt and made new life. I am the God of all Daleks!
DALEKS: Worship him. Worship him. Worship him.
DOCTOR: They're insane. Hiding in silence for hundreds of years, that's enough to drive anyone mad. But it's worse than that. Driven mad by your own flesh. The stink of humanity. You hate your own existence. And that makes them more deadly than ever. We're going.
EMPEROR: You may not leave my presence.

In a sense, then, a straight retread of The Evil Of The Daleks with added religious overtones. Humans made Dalek, years after the Daleks first attempted to make themselves human..........
DOCTOR: What have you done with your infernal meddling? What is this test? Do either of you know?
MAXTIBLE: I believe I do. They, I mean the Daleks, tell me they have always been defeated by human beings.
DOCTOR: In the long run, yes.
MAXTIBLE: Possibly because of some factor, possessed by human beings
DOCTOR: Possibly.
MAXTIBLE: That is absent in Daleks.
DOCTOR: Possibly.
MAXTIBLE: Perhaps they want to find out what it is and transplant it into their race.
Songs Of Praise will never be the same again!

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