I HATE FAIRYLAND #3 Review - Warped Factor - Words in the Key of Geek.

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Nope, that's not Gail Williams!

We get straight into things this issue as the guy from the Narrators Guild introduces us to Gertrude, just before Gertrude introduces the bloody great axe to his skull - fatally of course.

Still in the village of zombie fauns, all defeated, she starts to sing, and we get the first laugh out loud moment when Larry points a gun at her and says “I can’t kill you, but I can shoot you in the throat if you don’t stop that thing you think is singing.” Still they leave the village in a blaze of glory - well it’s a glorious blaze anyway.

Switch to Queen Cloudia facing and ripping a strip or two off Horribella. But Queenie has her own ideas how to get rid of Gertrude, so much so that even Horribella says she could use that much evil. So it’s off to see the Council of Elders. The pictures and the puns to get inside are a joy to behold. You see, no resident of Fairyland is allowed to kill a visitor, and the lore says there can only be one human visitor who can find the key and get back to the real world. But there’s always a loophole. Queenie suggests that they invite a second little girl in, and if she finds the key first, Gertrude becomes a resident of Fairyland and they can kill her.

They may, however, already be too late.

After an encounter with the Polkacorn (yes, you have to see it to believe it), Gertrude is in for a big fall. Ever watchful over her inert body, Larry passes the seasons, and perhaps the years, or maybe the lifetime of a Mayfly, who knows, but he builds a little shelter, gets hooked up, then unhooked, then sets the house on fire in revenge. And all this time Gertrude remains inert, growing a long curly green beard - yeah, I know, don’t ask, just go with it.

Gertrude is eventually roused by the appearance of Happy. Not the emotion, it is unlikely Gertrude would know that one. Happy the cute little girl currently on a quest to find the key to get home …

There are some great moments in this instalment, I’m not sure I agree with bright spark Larry who points out the UNDEAD can UN-UNDEAD themselves, which is kind of arguable because that would mean that the Undead can turn themselves normal again, but they clearly can’t. They can get cremated nicely though.

The artwork covering Gertrude’s ‘coma’ goes on for pages and it’s wonderful to behold what Larry gets up to. Then there’s Happy. She brings out a statement from Gertrude that just goes to show that she is not at heart a horrid little girl, and her bitterness as an adult trapped inside a child’s body is quite understandable when you realise that all she really wants is to get home to the “warm embrace of your [her] mother and father…”

There is more to the end of the issue than revealed here, and it’s a great read. Four out of five.

Gail Williams lives in her own private dungeon populated with all the weird and the wonderful she can imagine. Some of it’s very weird, and the odd bits and pieces are a bit wonderful. Well okay, she lives in Swansea with her husband and daughter. And the world’s most demanding cat. To find out more about Gail, check out www.gailbwilliams.co.uk - Dare you!

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