NEW ROMANCER #3 Review

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Gail Williams gets a grip on issue 3 of New Romancer...


While the New Romancer Dating Agency advertise a give-away dinner, drinks not included, with Lord Byron - Lord Byron himself is in no position to support the idea.

Casanova is busy sucking face with his Lordship and dragging out the spirit of the man’s bawdy past (some interest titbits there) until Lexy swings into action to save her sweet Byron - and crashes uncouthly with the cupboard. What weapon does she have, why nothing but Casanova’s own penis. (Eewe!) What she does next gives a whole new meaning to coming in your own eye. And I have to agree with Lexy when she says, “Oh God, that’s gross.” It was.


As Casanova exits injured, Byron is upset to be rescued by a girl. A girl who’s sure that Byron and Casanova both turning up together can’t be a coincidence and must have something to do with Incubators AI program.

Mong, her colleague from New Romancer, now becomes the girl in need of rescuing. It seems her moonlighting as a FEMBOT designer has backfired. The fembots have found their feminist side and are telling man where to get off and their wives exactly what is going on.

Of course Raj has to get Byron to judge the contest - the win a date with Byron one - I can safely say this is not a great success. All the women are worrisome, especially the one that wasn’t originally a woman.

But Byron can’t stay long, Lexy needs him to help her break into Incubator. Well technically, she doesn’t need him, other contacts do the breaking in. And the technology she finds is just a little worrying - especially when she finds out its basically the same stuff her father used on her when she was a teenager, in an attempt to make her super-smart. However, when the security droid shines his ‘unnatural sunbeam’ (to quote Byron) on Lexy and takes control, it is Byron who saves her by, oddly, quoting Keats, and defying logic by being both in his twenties and his two hundred and twenties.

But there are events on the way to watch. The Golden Gate Bridge is to be closed for three hours and Raj is opening a pop-up restaurant, which of course will host Byron’s romantic dinner date. Now we see a new player, better known as Mata Hari, discovering that Lexy was part of the her rebirth, and now she wants her dead lover brought back too, so she’s going to find Lexy.

So Valentines Day comes around, Byron has chosen his lady, the one that scared him least. Only it’s not his selection that turns up, it’s Lexy…

And Lexy’s Dad…

And Mata Hari…

And…

Well it's well worth the read, I say, old chum. Four out of five from me.

Gail Williams lives in her own private dungeon populated with all the weird and the wonderful she can imagine. Some of it’s very weird, and the odd bits and pieces are a bit wonderful. Well okay, she lives in Swansea with her husband and daughter. And the world’s most demanding cat. To find out more about Gail, check out www.gailbwilliams.co.uk - Dare you!

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