Which Pig Is The Best Pig? - Warped Factor - Words in the Key of Geek.

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Which Pig Is The Best Pig?

It's a question that has likely kept you up at night pondering the answer - when it comes to pigs, and fictional pigs at that, which pig is the best pig? Well now, thanks to our patented unique pig-sorting solution (the formula for which remains a closely guarded secret) we can finally reveal the answer...
Pigs! Love them or hate them, you'd be foolish to deny their existence. You've seen them on the farm, you've watched them on screen, you've read about them in books, we all know pigs. But what you might not know is that pigs are highly intelligent animals, so much so they helped us compile a unique patented pig-sorting solution so that, once and for all, we can finally answer the question, which fictional pig is the best pig?

I suspect you, dear reader, like many others have your favourite pig already. After all, many famous fictional pigs have come into our lives to entertain us across the years, leaving a squishy oblong pig shaped impression on our hearts. But does yours make the cut below? All will be revealed after a brief selection of honourable mentions...
Honourable Mentions
As noted above, there are hundreds of fictional pigs, some of which you may think might, or indeed should, be included in this top 10 countdown. However, you are not privy to the unique pig-sorting solution's methods, so you'd be wrong. But it would be remiss of us to at least not tip a gentleman's hat towards these fine porkers who nearly, so very nearly, made the top 10 list.

Narrowly missing out we have The Three Little Pigs (mainly as two of them knew nothing about building codes), the pig from the NOW! That's What I Call Music albums, Piggy from Lord of the Flies (he's not a pig), Podgy from Rupert Bear, Bebop from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (primarily as he's a Warthog, same family as pigs but not a pig per se), Pumbaa from The Lion King (same reason), Wibbly Pig, Bad Piggies from the Angry Birds franchise (the clue's in their name - they're not good), Minecraft Pig (cute but stupid), that inflatable pig that Pink Floyd used to use, Pau from Moana (mainly as Hei Hei was much funnier), Hamm from Toy Story (I was gutted about that one, his Evil Dr Porkchop was to die for. That pig has range!) and Marks & Spencer's very own Percy Pig (primarily because they don't even taste of pork),

But now, the main event! Strap yourself in as we head into pure pig paradise and count down the top 10 best fictional pigs out there...
10. Napoleon from Animal Farm
Honestly, we were as surprised as anyone as to how Napoleon made the top 10, given that the Bad Piggies from Angry Birds were marked down for basically being bastards, but the patented pig-sorting solution never lies.

If you've read George Orwell's Animal Farm then you know that Napoleon is "a large, rather fierce-looking Berkshire boar" who has "a reputation for getting his own way". While he is at first a common farm pig, he exiles Snowball, another pig, who is his rival for power, and then takes advantage of the animals' uprising against their masters to eventually become the tyrannical "President" of Animal Farm, which he turns into a dictatorship. Sorta like Donald Trump in pig form.
9. Wilbur from Charlotte's Web
Another famous literary pig, runt of the litter Wilbur found a friend in the form of a spider named Charlotte who ended-up saving his life. Given how cute he is, there's a good chance Wilbur could've ranked higher on the list if another kind-hearted pig called Babe hadn't come along. Spoiler, Babe is in the countdown. But not yet...
8. Porco Rosso
The 1992 Studio Ghibli film of the same name revolves around an Italian World War I ex-fighter ace, now living as a freelance bounty hunter chasing "air pirates" in the Adriatic Sea. However, an unusual curse has transformed him into an anthropomorphic pig. Once called Marco Pagot, he is now known to the world as "Porco Rosso", Italian for "Red Pig" or "Red Pork" (warning kids, don't eat red pork). Not only is the film a top-watch, like every Studio Ghibli production, the American dub features Michael Keaton as the voice of Porco Rosso. No doubt giving this porker bonus pig-sorting points and placing him in the top 10.
7. Pinky & Perky
The BBC's pigtastic puppet duo first appeared on-screen in 1957 sounding like a pair or porkers on helium. Not only did they star in their own long-running series but they also guested on all the top variety shows of the day and conquered the pop charts with a stream of single and album releases. If heard just on vinyl, our American cousins may easily mistake them for The Chipmunks, but, fact fans, Pinky & Perky arrived over a year before Alvin, Simon and Theodore ever sang about Witch Doctors or their Christmas list.
6. Peppa Pig
With over 300 episodes to date, as well as a sorta feature film type thing and several specials, Peppa Pig shows no sign of stopping until she has secured total TV global domination. Like most of us, Peppa's hobbies include jumping in muddy puddles, cuddling her teddy bear, going to playgroup, playing the computer game "Happy Mrs. Chicken", and dressing up. It's a dream life really.
5. Peter Porker aka Spider-Ham / Spider-Pig from The Simpsons
Two pigs for the price of one here as a glitch in the pig sorting solution code couldn't separate between this pair of arachnid-pigs, rather tried to combine them like some kind of BrudlePig monstrosity! To save you from the nightmare image which would've no doubt haunted you if glanced upon, we've manually separated them for you. You're welcome.

As a parody of Spider-Man, Peter Porker dates back to 1983 and the Marvel Tails comic book but proved so popular that two years later he got his own ongoing series; Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham. He made his cinematic debut during Into The Spider-Verse, essentially becoming canon.

In the right corner, it's Homer's good buddy Spider-Pig, also known as Plopper or Harry Plopper, star of The Simpsons Movie where his brief, albeit aided, walk along the ceiling proved to be the most memorable highlight in a film full of highlights.
4. Babe
The movie which did more for vegetarianism than the combined voices of the McCartney family began life in the pages of the 1983 novel The Sheep Pig. Twelve years later, the adventures of Babe and Farmer Hoggett became the surprise hit of the year. From orphaned piglet to county fair champion, Babe proved that a kind heart can win the day. Unfortunately when it came to the inevitable movie sequel, someone forgot to actually write a script. But, heck, he was still sooo-cute to look at.
3. Porky Pig
Starring in the Warner Bros. Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies series of cartoons, Porky Pig beat both Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck to become the first WB animated character to draw audiences based on his star power. Voiced by many actors across the years, including the legend that is Mel Blanc, Porky Pig is probably best known for his signature line at the end of many shorts, "Th-th-th-that's all folks!" That's not quite all here, though...
2. Piglet
Winnie the Pooh's right-hand pig has had quite a career. From supporting character in the pages of A.A. Milne's original stories to the star of his own Disney movie. Although he is a "Very Small Animal" of a generally timid disposition, he tries to be brave and on occasion conquers his fears. We can all learn a lot from Piglet, hence his position in second place on our top 10 pigs countdown.

Which pig reigns supreme though...
1. Miss Piggy
It's fresh swill all round as Miss Piggy, star of The Muppets, takes the top place on the countdown thanks to her sheer talent and beauty (and nothing at all to do with the fact that she threatened to karate-chop the pig-sorting solution machine if she didn't win, honest). Since her debut in 1976, Miss Piggy has been notable for her temperamental diva superstar personality, tendency to use French phrases in her speech, and practice of aforementioned karate. She's also known for her on-again/off-again relationship with Kermit the Frog, which began in 1976 and ended in 2015. Fun fact for you: pigs tend to live for no more then 20 years, so...

In a 1979 interview with The New York Times, original performer Frank Oz outlined Miss Piggy's biography:
"She grew up in a small town (most likely Keystone, Iowa); her father died when she was young and her mother wasn't that nice to her. She had to enter beauty contests to survive, as many single women do. She has a lot of vulnerability which she has to hide, because of her need to be a superstar."
And a superstar she became. Appearing in all the Muppet films and television series, Miss Piggy is one of the most iconic TV characters ever created and so easily deserves the top spot in this countdown.

And there you have it, our patented pig-sorting solution provides, once and for all, a definitive top 10 list to prove which pig is the best pig. Did your favourite pig feature in the countdown? Or do you champion a different porker. Why not let us know in the comments below?

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