This time on my Red Dwarf top ten countdown I’ll look at Series III’s Polymorph, the only episode that began with an advisory warning due to certain scenes and dialogue. This episode of Red Dwarf easily earns itself a spot in this list, now where to place it among the all time greats was the hard bit. There are so many scenes and elements of this episode that I will take a look at to back up my placing it in the top ten, I think I will start at the beginning of the episode and work my way through picking out the funniest scenes and moments from Polymorph.
To start we have just a simple scene where we see the Polymorph move around the cargo decks of the Red Dwarf and change shape into whatever it needs, this is a moment to provide the exposition in a funny way and to show off the crew’s ability to create this monster that changes shape. The monster than makes its way through the ship and we meet up with the crew.
Lister and the Cat are about to eat what the Cat describes as, “This isn’t a meal, it’s an autopsy!” Lister tries to “class up” their meals with medical equipment, the list of things he uses is hilarious and yet equally disgusting, which is funny in itself. An artificial insemination syringe for cows to squirt lemon juice and scalpels, which causes the Cat to declare, “I’m supposed to eat with this? Something that long ago performed a popular Jewish tradition?” The initial warning at the beginning seems more and more important to have as the writers let go of the “rules” for a week and create something that is extremely funny and original.
The next scene is the second best of the episode. The polymorph has returned and has turned itself into a kebab. Kryten introduces us to his groinal attachment, which can whip up Spanish Omelets - although Kryten also mentions that very few people are prepared to eat them. The kebab wriggles on Listers plate and jumps onto his neck causing him to fall down onto the ground, he gets up and looks for the Polymorph but can’t find it. The only thing he can find is a pair of red underpants, which he puts on. What happens next is too great to describe, it is easily one of the funniest gags in all of Red Dwarf. I’ll add this quote, “Well, I can’t say I’m totally shocked. You’ll bonk anything won’t you, Lister.”
The crew go looking for the Polymorph and are slowly picked off. First Lister is hit and looses all his fear, than while being dumber than usual the Cat runs into an attractive woman who turns out to be the Polymorph, he looses his vanity. Kryten is tricked into thinking that he was the reason the Cat was hurt and looses his guilt. The funniest way a character looses an emotion is when Rimmer sees his mom laying with Lister, after they have supposedly had sex. The breaking point for Rimmer is when the Polymorph mentions alphabetti spaghetti, the Polymorph takes his anger.
The best part of this episode comes after the Polymorph has taken Kryten’s guilt, Rimmer’s anger, Lister’s fear and the Cat’s vanity, when the four have a meeting to discuss plans for getting rid of the creature. There are several moments in this scene that almost make me cry because I’m laughing so hard, my favorite abbreviation of all time, gets a mention in this scene.
Join me next Friday as I take a look at number eight on my top ten Red Dwarf countdown!
Previously
Smegging Brilliant
The World loves a bastard!
A look at Kryten 2X4B-523P
Five fantastic moments with the Cat
Dave Lister: The man who fathered himself
Top Ten Episodes: The one's that just missed the mark
10. Meltdown
Andrew Jero is 18, lives in Iowa and has a very strong love of both Red Dwarf and Doctor Who. He enjoys acting and writing plays, television scripts, and short stories. Follow Andrew on Twitter.
