BOND: SPECTRE Spoiler Filled Review

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Gail Williams presents a sort of spoiler-filled review of Spectre.

After enjoying Skyfall, I thought I’d give Spectre a chance and headed to the cinema. Well what can I say?

Story wise: in a cryptically reference-filled nut shell;
Jack Skellington abandons the pretty maid to blow up half of Mexico City and punch the masked man out of a helicopter. Then he gets caught up in the Matrix Revolutions to save Persphone. After that Voldermort gets into a fight with Moriarty over Big Brother. Turns out Big Brother is kind of James’s problem, but on the way to solve that there’s an encounter with Drax who seems to be wearing metal false nails.

On a train Bond beats Alex O’Connell’s attempts to escape Imhotep, by employing the tactic that worked against Jaws (the shark not the character). As the train is on the way to Hamunaptra, it kinda works. Still BB is a man who gets inventive with jewellery, making drill bits while playing with his pussy - wasn’t sure if it was Mrs Slocombe or Baron Greenback, but given who the Baron and the over excited powder puff were based on, it has to be them really.

But tempus doth fugit, and with a hell of a bang too, though not as big a bang as the old HQ of MI6. Meanwhile Voldermort ensures Moriarty takes the Reichenbach Fall. Of course, Bond saves us all from Big Brother in all its forms, though in this case he brings one back alive.

And all so he can get the blonde.
Okay, so some of you may have to go check out some of those references. And yes, this review is rather tongue in cheek, but I think Spectre was too. Because if it wasn’t, why did this woman, sans-sense of humour, find quite so much of it quite so funny? Well maybe because I’m not so without humour as some think, and maybe because the second Andrew Scott walked on screen all I could only see was “Jim from IT” (go google it), and it snowballed from there.

At this point you may be thinking that just maybe this wasn’t a great film, but that’s not fair, there is more than a ghost of a story to Spectre. Let’s be clear, I thoroughly enjoy the film.

As usual the opening sequence was spectacular, if a little Live and Let Die, the helicopter stunts are absolutely breathtaking, and there are plenty of shocks and thrills to follow. I felt sorry for the little rat Bond points the gun at - he was so cute!

One of the things I particularly enjoyed in this instalment was that we got to see more of the supporting cast. Both Miss Moneypenny and Q come across as much more human than we’ve ever seen them before, and I have to say that Ben Wishaw does a wonderful job as Q, especially when he’s out in the field. And there are plenty of in-jokes that I got which at the same time went completely over my daughter’s head - rather like the cable car.

I don’t think Spectre is as good as Skyfall, but it is good and I would recommend it. Go enjoy.

Gail Williams lives in her own private dungeon populated with all the weird and the wonderful she can imagine. Some of it’s very weird, and the odd bits and pieces are a bit wonderful. Well okay, she lives in Swansea with her husband and daughter. And the world’s most demanding cat. To find out more about Gail, check out - Dare you!

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