Resistance Is Futile To These STAR TREK Inspired Pick-Up Lines

. . No comments:
Jonathan Bird is here to help any Trek loving singles with the Kobayashi Maru of pick-up lines.

The following pickup lines have been tried and tested by members of and have been found to be unbeatable. Perfect for the upcoming Valentine’s Day. Are you near an unstable redshirt with a phaser? Because prepare to be stunned.

‘I’ve Got Something Big In My Torpedo Tube’
This is one of those thinly veiled indications of how well-endowed you are but don’t write it off before you try it. Sometimes less is more and sometimes you don’t want to have to try and come up with a complex and intricate chat up line when the blunt penis comment could do the exact same job.

‘Beam Me Up Hottie’
I know what you are thinking, this is one of the most obvious and cheesy pickup lines out there. That’s the beauty of it, it is so bad that it’s funny, and there is nothing a girl likes more than a funny guy. (Well maybe a completely ripped model, but it’s a close call).

‘Take Off Your Clothes And Let’s Start the Next Generation’
Now this one’s a beauty. It has the perfect balance of flirty promiscuity while subtly implying that you are open to settling down and starting your own little family of midget Klingons. This line is so well balanced that it could stand on the tip of Sulu’s sword.

‘You Can Set Your Phaser To Stunning’
Who doesn’t love a witty nerd? I mean come on!! This line allows you to compliment their looks while also making it clear that you are a die-hard nerd. The reason that this line is such a good opener is due to the fact that it is a clear indication of what they can expect if, and when, the line works.

‘I’m Going To Ask You Out. Resistance Is Futile’
This pickup line makes it clear from the get go that you are a confident, take control kind of guy/girl that while you are open to flirty banter, will be the Captain in the relationship.

‘We Are The Borg! Lower Your Shields And Prepare To Be Loved’
This is the perfect pickup line for those manly man types that hate to show any kind of emotion lest it be construed as a weakness. This line allows the speaker to come across as assertive and commanding but provides the underlying tone of real heartfelt emotion.

‘Your Mouth Says ‘Shields Up’, But Your Eyes Say ‘A Hull Breach Is Imminent’
This is definitely the go to line for those trekkies that enjoy complex relationship games. Everyone has dated that one guy, or girl, that enjoyed convincing and conniving their way into your life in a whirlwind of emotion and excitement that was all over too soon. This pickup line embodies that person.

‘Thank God You’re Not A Redshirt Because You Are Drop Dead Gorgeous’
Now this is a rather sly little line. While it is an in your face Star Trek reference which may deter some of the more ‘uneducated’ of your targets, it manages to muffle the outright geekiness under the over the top compliment. Those last few lines could turn what was going to be a fake number, into a sure thing.

‘I Wouldn’t Mind Getting My Hands On Your Ample Nacelles’
While this may come across as a run of the mill, frat boy style, crude comment it is actually the perfect last ditch effort. Think about it, it’s the end of the night, your fuel canisters are running on empty and you are pretty sure that your Uber driver was the stunt double for ‘The Borg Queen’. There are only a few potential marks left in the bar and you don’t have the energy to come up with anything too intellectual. It’s just you, your wit, and the Keenser that appeared on the stool next to you after your sixth drink. You take a minute to compose yourself, wipe the apple martini from your uniform, and take the leap. Next thing you know, you are waking up in Piers Morgan’s hot tub with the girl from the bar, her sister and your Uber Driver.

There is no need to thank me for this guidance I am just doing my best for a fellow member of StarFleet. If you really want to repay me then pass on my wisdom to another lost soul and let them experience what it is like for a Vulcan cheerleader during Pon Far. ‘Live Long And Prosper’!!!

Jonathan Bird is the founder and Managing Director of, an industry leading dating group including niche sites worldwide including and dating advice from over 100 experts. His one and only ever employee review stated that Jonathan Bird was an out of the box thinker. In fact, Jonathan has no idea where the box is.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Warped Factor
Daily features, news and reviews from the world of geek!