Doctor Who: Vote Saxon - Warped Factor - Words in the Key of Geek.

Home Top Ad

Post Top Ad

Doctor Who: Vote Saxon

Christopher Morley follows the political career of Harold Saxon MP.

As we all ponder for whom we'll be voting in the General Election, we can at least be grateful that we don't really have the Master in charge of this sceptred isle!

But Doctor Who has of course offered us a glimpse at how such a scenario would play out- following his regeneration from the ''kindly'' elderly form of ''Professor Yana'' into his youngest & probably maddest form yet, driven bananas by the drumbeat modelled on the beating of his two hearts. Somewhat unbelievably the Great British public voted the loony into power!

Well, it was via the Archangel Network- not the first time a politician's tried to use satellite to talk people into liking them going by Messrs Cameron, Miliband & Farage on Sky News? But where they had to rely on the gift of the gab, the man voters knew as ''Harold Saxon'' was able to create a low signal, also based around the drumbeat, which convinced those going to the polls in a 2008 election to sweep him into power. Sneaky, we're sure you'll agree. As yet none of the three big political players has tried a similar trick, but rule nothing out!

At least he'd worked his way up the ladder, sort of- starting out as Minister of Defence and ordering the Army to help in taking out the Empress of The Racnoss. ''Orders from Mister Saxon. Fire at will!''. Science reaped the benefit of his support after he made it into 10 Downing Street, too. Just ask Professor Richard Lazarus, whose age-regression experiments got generous funding.
LADY THAW: Are you sure it's safe?
LAZARUS: There were some issues. They've been resolved. I'm confident I'm in no serious danger.
LADY THAW: That's comforting, Richard, but it wasn't just you I was worried about.
LAZARUS: Your concern is touching.
LADY THAW: The people in that room will represent billions of pounds worth of potential investment. Mister Saxon wants to be sure they like what they see.
LAZARUS: Don't worry. Our friend will get his money's worth.
Techniques modelled on that very same purpose would be modified and made available for the Master/Prime Minister's use, as he aged the Doctor almost to death before his eventual defeat & the undoing of the ''Year That Never Was''.

In a display of Machiavellian scheming he'd also announced first contact with alien life, the very nasty Toclafane.
MASTER: Mister President, sir.
WINTERS: Mister Saxon, the British Army will stand down. From now on, UNIT has control of this operation.
MASTER: You make it sound like an invasion.
WINTERS: First Contact policy was decided by the Security Council in 1968, and you've just gone and ignored it.
MASTER: Well, you know what it's like. New job, all that paperwork. I think it's down the back of the settee. I did have a quick look. I found a pen, a sweet, a bus ticket and er, have you met the wife?
WINTERS: Mister Saxon, I'm not sure what your game is but there are provisions at the United Nations to have you removed from office unless you are very, very careful. Is that understood? Are you taking this seriously? To business. We've accessed your files on these Toclafane. First Contact cannot take place on any sovereign soil. To that purpose, the aircraft carrier Valiant is en route. The rendezvous will take place there at 8am. You're trying my patience, sir.
MASTER: So America is completely in charge?
WINTERS: Since Britain elected an ass, yes. I'll see you on-board the Valiant.
MASTER: It still will be televised, though, won't it. Because I promised, and the whole world is watching.
Predictably, after contact is made just guess who they go for first!
WINTERS: My name is Arthur Coleman Winters, President Elect of the United States of America, and designated representative of the United Nations. I welcome you to the planet Earth and its associated moon.
MALE SPHERE: You're not the Master.
FEMALE SPHERE: We like the Mister Master.
MALE SPHERE : We don't like you.
WINTERS: I can be master, if you so wish. I will accept mastery over you, if that is God's will.
MALE SPHERE : Man is stupid.
MALE SPHERE: Master is our friend.
FEMALE SPHERE Where's my Master, pretty please?
MASTER: Oh, all right then. It's me. Ta da! Sorry, sorry, I have this effect. People just get obsessed. Is it the smile? Is it the aftershave? Is it the capacity to laugh at myself? I don't know. It's crazy.
WINTERS: Saxon, what are you talking about?
MASTER: I'm taking control, Uncle Sam, starting with you. Kill him.

But in a sense he'd been a political animal right from the start, perhaps most obviously in The Time Monster! Well, he does manage to persuade Queen Galleia to topple her husband King Dalios from his throne in the great lost ancient kingdom of Atlantis with as much suave charm as any politician could muster.
GALLEIA: You're a man who knows what he wants, Lord Master.
MASTER: And takes it.
GALLEIA: You want the crystal?
MASTER: I am going to possess it.
GALLEIA: Not without my consent.
MASTER: Of course not. But I am confident that you will give it.
GALLEIA: Why should I help you?
MASTER: For the sake of Atlantis, Lady. Would you not see her restored to her former glory? Rich, powerful, magnificent among the nations of the world? Who would not be ruler of such a country?
GALLEIA: Nothing must happen to Dalios.
MASTER: Why should it? He will rule for many years, the beloved sovereign of a beloved prosperous people.
GALLEIA: But surely you would want to...
MASTER: Well, purely because of Lord Dalios' great age, it might be well if he were relieved of some of the more onerous duties of kingship. But the reins of power, Lady Queen, should be in stronger hands. Hands such as yours.
GALLEIA: And yours?
MASTER: It would be a pleasure to serve you. And then, when the end comes for Dalios, as it must come for all men, then perhaps?
GALLEIA: The crystal shall be yours.

Makes it look easy, doesn't he? Political party leaders take note!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Post Top Ad