An Open Letter to a Legendary Team,
First of all, thank you to everyone for an extremely entertaining 2-hour extravaganza this week. While the team-up name is still painful to say, the action-packed fighting and quick one-liners more than made up for it. So, well done. “Heroes Join Forces” manages to achieve in 2 hours what it took Marvel an entire 2 movies to successfully synthesize: a squad of independent yet mostly cohesive bad-asses who experience growing pains but in the end, get the job done. (Side note: I definitely love the Avengers movies, but the first film was 2/3's team-building exercises & the last 15 minutes of butt-kicking. Just saying.) So my first shout out goes to you, CW writing team.
To the writers,
WELL DONE creating a 2-part episode that still maintains the general style of each respective show. The Flash's “Legends of Today” managed to be humorous, quippy, & generally relaxed (despite Spivot's momentary lapse in judgement when she randomly guns down Dr. Wells – but hey! At least we got Jay back!), all the while progressing the plot until we make it to the much heavier, more emotional Arrow half, “Legends of Yesterday.” (Oh my GOOOOOOSHHH, Oliver, if you break up Olicity, I swear …) Hats off, guys.
Plus, I'm STILL laughing from your hilarious Avengers nod with the farmhouse. And from your usage of the word “hubris.”
Now to the Legends themselves:
Barry Allen,
First of all, I thoroughly enjoyed binge-watching your entire first season last week in preparation for this action-packed crossover adventure. I had yet to jump into the Flash universe, but I had heard amazing things about your show. They are all true. In more current terms, way to work that lighting throw, dude. Super awesome. Also, major win getting a hug from Oliver Queen. If that were me, I would probably never shower again.
HOWEVER …
If you're responsible for breaking up #TeamOlicity I will never be able to look at you. Ever again. That is all.
By the way, nice job saving everyone's lives. The nerd universe thanks you.
Oliver Queen,
You're an amazing leader. You'll probably be a great mayor. You'll probably also be a great dad from the looks of it. But it took you THREE SEASONS to learn something very important:
Secrets = Bad
I need you to write this on your mirror and repeat it every morning. Again, if (and probably when) you cause the break-up of the DC television universe decade, I will personally release Vandal Savage from whatever vase Malcolm is storing him in and send him your way.
Let's all take a dramatic moment and relive how LONG it's taken this relationship to happen. (Or just enjoy the fact that this video basically only shows how awesome Felicity is and how Oliver spends a lot of time shirtless.)
Cisco,
Man. I'm sorry. You've been a knight in shining armor for pretty much everyone in both of these DC universes, and you just can't catch a relationship break. You're like how it felt for Jacob in Twilight when his only option after not getting the girl is to conveniently imprint on her creepy daughter (might explain the resemblance).
Yes, I know it's terrifying, man. But don't worry. I'm sure you'll meet someone amazing … like maybe Patty once Barry and Iris FINALLY decide to be together. You deserve a cool chick whose Facebook relationship status hasn't been “It's complicated” for the past 4000 years.
Dear Team Arrow,
So glad this episode showcased how incredibly awesome you all are. Thea – you have all the sarcasm and tact of Oliver minus the angst & secrecy. Thank you for keeping it light in Star City. Diggle, steady & sure as always.
Felicity, your magnetic arrows were definitely cool. Keep up the good work. Hopefully, Oliver won't screw this good thing up. (Also, I like your throw pillows. Pottery Barn?)
Laurel … nice Canary Cry. Glad it effectively did nothing. But, hey, you are a team player.
Dear Bad Guys - I am IN LOVE with you all.
Damien Darhk, your humor in “Legends of Today” had me LOL-ing (literally). Please keep it coming. I am just as amused with you as you are with yourself.
Vandal, I dig your accent, man. I'm actually glad for once that Malcolm Merlyn can do nothing but cause problems. I am interested to see your return & what havoc you bring with you. However, I do think it's a little insane to use your immortality and fighting abilities to chase down some chick and her boyfriend. Ra's? World domination. Loki? Destroy Asgard. Vandal? … Hunt a chick who decided to swipe left on his Tinder offer. Come on, dude. It happens to everyone.
Oh, Malcolm. You never cease to bother me. I don't understand why you still seek to prove yourself to the realm of evil by investing in the business of favors. “You owe me one, buddy?” I think running an entire army of trained assassins proves you're in the Cool Club. I can only assume that perhaps you're wanting to use Vandal to regain your immortality ability now that your “magic hot tub” is broken. Here's hoping.
… Or maybe you're just angry that Oliver decided “Green Arrow” wasn't lame after all.
Dr. Wells, even though you're not “officially” evil anymore, I do have to say I'm loving your Kramer-style hair this episode. Seinfeld would be proud.
And last, but not least, a general note:
Dear everyone who is NOT a vigilante.
When a bad guy kills like 3 guys ahead of you, he's probably not going to cut you any slack – please don't stand there, dumbfounded. In the words of the Green Arrow, “Run, Barry (you can insert your own name if you wish). Run.”
Sincerely,
Vandal Savage & most other bad guys
Peace & happiness this holiday season everyone!
Nerd-fully yours,
Margot
Margot is a huge supporter of all things relating to "nerd culture," in particular those involving superheroes and Disney. She loves books, movies, music and working out, and currently lives in Athens, GA, with her rabbit, Gigi.
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