The Best One Star Reviews For CATS - Warped Factor - Words in the Key of Geek.

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The Best One Star Reviews For CATS

Judge a cat by its soul...

Whilst we've been off on our Christmas holidays several big movies have opened; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker, Jumanji: The Next Level, Spies In Disguise, Little Women, and Cats. To say the latter has had some negative press is something of an understatement. From the moment the first trailer dropped and all its hideous glory was made public, Cats seemed destined to fail. After press screenings, just about every review was scathing...
"the bottom of the 2019 barrel" - Rolling Stone
"dreadful hairball of woe" - The Guardian
"Cats is the biggest disaster of the decade, and possibly thus far in the millennium. It's Battlefield Earth with whiskers" - The Detroit News
"I have seen sights no human should see" - io9
By the time it reached theaters it was clear Cats was going to bomb. At the time of writing it's rated just 2.7 on IMDB and as harsh as the professional reviews have been, the users of IMDB are even cattier! So we've rounded up some of the very best one star reviews from IMDB for your purrusal...

I've never seen a film that made me want to place my own cats up for adoption until now.
This movie reminds me of that scene from Jurassic Park where Jeff Goldblum says "You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you never bothered to ask if you should."
My own cat looks at me in shame now. This film has singlehandedly destroyed my relationship with my pet.

I used to be a wholeheartedly christian mother. I then watched this movie and became an atheist. No loving god would put us on a planet with the likes of this.
Before watching this movie, I was very happy with my mental state and life in general. I had a family, people who loved me as much as I loved them back. An amazing wife, 2 beautiful children and... I'm sorry but this is so hard to write... a cat. I thought despite the bad reviews and creepy previews that I could still find some joy in this movie as I have been able to find joy in many things in my life. However, I got ten minutes into the movie and my body wouldn't let me get up out of the chair, I was paralyzed as the horrible images, ear destroying songs, and dialogue that seemed to be written by a mentally challenged dodo bird was forced upon me. It has been several days since I left that theatre and I will not go into specific details, but my actions have lead to my family leaving me and my cat no longer being with us.
if i saw these cats again i would hit them with a car

After 30 minutes my best friend started screaming and killed himself with his own shoe
There is a wall in my house. The wall is a simple wall, eight feet tall, and fifteen feet wide, it sits in a corner in the basement. It has been painted beige, with a few coats to cover up the bumps and scratches from coats before. It's got it's idiosyncrasies, the way the light jumps off the paint, the not so even dry-walling underneath. Stare at it long enough, and it begins to speak to you - or at least allow you to speak to it. Maybe there's something to the wall - or maybe it's just my romantic illusions of inspiration and contemplation that bring life to it. My point is this - staring at that blank wall for two hours is far more inspiring, interesting and enlightening than watching even just two minutes of the cinematic colonoscopy that is "Cats."
hats off to [director] Tom Hooper so I can throw the hat at him

Whoever green-lit this should never be in charge of the light ever again.
This is why North Korea hates us.
And finally, some great advice is you happen to be going to see Cats over the New Year period...
It's really not that bad once you close your eyes!

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