PUPPET FIGHT: CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS - DEATH MATCH - Warped Factor - Words in the Key of Geek.

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PUPPET FIGHT: CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS - DEATH MATCH


In the storied annals of puppetry, the Puppet Wrestling Federation’s (PWF) 'PUPPET FIGHT: CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS - DEATH MATCH' stands alone. It’s a showdown so epic, so unparalleled that it makes The Hunger Games look like a spirited game of tag.

Four puppets. Four champions. Emu, Miss Piggy, Hacker T Dog, and Brains. Each a victor in their own right, have now been thrust into a theatre of battle where only the most durable of puppets will prevail. It's a grueling melee where the line between felt and fury becomes blurred, a test of strength, wit, and most importantly, the heart that lies within the stuffing.

The crowd hushes as the puppet combatants step into the centre of the ring. Emu, fresh off his victory over Sweep, Nookie Bear, and Zippy, opens the bout with a series of rapid pecks at Hacker T Dog. Hacker, however, nimbly sidesteps the attack, retaliating with a perfectly executed drop toe hold that sends the avian menace tumbling.

On the other side of the ring, Miss Piggy, the karate-chopping victor from her clash with her fellow Muppets, meets her cerebral opponent, Brains, with a grin of anticipation. Brains, despite his technical triumph over Captain Scarlet, Joe 90, and Aqua Marina, lacks the raw intensity that Piggy brings to the match.

With a swing of her powerful leg, Miss Piggy launches a high kick at Brains, who manages to duck under the attack. Yet, Piggy's experience in the ring comes to the fore as she swiftly transitions into a brutal roundhouse kick, catching Brains off guard and sending him tumbling across the ring.

The bout takes an early dark turn when Hacker T Dog, in a surprising move, brings out a steel chair from under the ring. With an uncharacteristic show of strength, he slams it onto Emu's back, causing the bird to squawk in surprise. Yet, the resolute Emu refuses to back down, returning with a vengeance and a full-wing clothesline that sends Hacker sprawling.

The crowd gasps, the air thick with anticipation, as Emu moves with a predator's grace. With a flurry of feathers and fury, Emu lunges at the floored Hacker, his beak landing blow after vicious blow. Emu's pecking, a curious mix of savagery and precision, leaves Hacker reeling.

Hacker's comedic facade melts away as he tries desperately to fend off Emu. As the threads of the once proud puppy begin to unravel, little by little Emu pecks the stuffing out of him, Hacker screams for mercy. But there's a primal quality to Emu's attack, a testament to his wild, untamed spirit. This bird has a mission and no words will stop him now.

Finally, with a decisive peck, Hacker T Dog lies lifeless on the canvas. His stuffing guts on show for all to see, a haunting reminder of the brutal reality of this puppet death match.

The action is equally harrowing across the ring, with the crowd now watching between their fingers as Miss Piggy, never one to back down from a fight, turns to Brains with a fiery look in her eyes. The memory of her passionate rivalry with Kermit fuels her now, and the pink diva stands, ready to defy all odds.

She launches herself at Brains, her hoof landing a devastating blow that sends him sprawling. Then, with an agility surprising for her build, she performs a high-risk maneuver—a piledriver. This controversial move, banned in most professional wrestling circles, brings gasps from the crowd. Brains, utterly stunned, can do nothing as Miss Piggy lifts him up, only to drive him headfirst into the canvas.

A crack appears in the marionette's cranium. Brain's brains are now literally on show! Not stopping at that, Miss Piggy hurls Brains into a corner of the ring, following up with a brutal barrage of powerful chops to the face as splatters of Brain's brain matter fly into the crowd. Each strike resonating through the arena, a chilling testament to Miss Piggy's ruthless determination.

Miss Piggy, knowing her opponent is finished, brings her face close to Brain's bloodied skull, and with a tender kiss on the cheek, turns and walks away as Brains still carcass tumbles limply to the floor. Brains, the technical genius who had overcome all odds in his previous bout, was not puppet enough to handle the brutal reality of Miss Piggy's uncompromising ferocity.

With a triumphant snort, Miss Piggy begins to strut around the ring, her signature diva swagger on full display. Yet, even as the audience cheers, a sinister shadow creeps up behind her, eyes glinting with predatory intent. Emu, the relentless bird with a taste for chaos, has set his sights on his next prey.

Emu's attack is as swift as it is brutal. Before Miss Piggy can react, he lunges, his beak tearing into her pink plush form. The crowd gasps, their cheers silenced in an instant. As it turns out, it seems this bird has a taste for bacon.

Caught off guard, Miss Piggy struggles to fight back, her earlier dominance crumbling under Emu's relentless assault. Each peck, each scratch, is methodical and precise. It is almost as if Emu is tearing her apart loin from loin, determined to make sausages out of her.

Despite her best efforts to retaliate, Miss Piggy's strength wanes. Emu, relentless and unforgiving, continues his brutal onslaught. The fight quickly turns into a one-sided battle, Miss Piggy's cries of defiance drowned out by Emu's squawks of victory. As Miss Piggy's form finally goes limp, and a devastated Kermit screams from the sidelines, it becomes chillingly clear - in this puppet death match, no one is safe from Emu's wrath.

As Miss Piggy's once flamboyant figure lies still, the Puppet Wrestling Federation (PWF) arena falls into a stunned silence. The marquee lights dance across the carnage in the ring, casting long, eerie shadows. Then, with a sudden flourish of trumpets, the announcer's voice booms out, cutting through the tense atmosphere.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a champion!"

In the ring's center, standing tall over his fallen foes, is Emu. His feathers are ruffled and his eyes gleam with an intense fervor as blood drips from his beak. Somewhere the ghost of Rod Hull turns in his grave. He always knew this day would come. There's an air of menacing triumph about Emu now, an uncanny vindication that sends shivers down everyone's spines as they consider 'who's next?' and all worrying that it might be them.

"All hail Emu, the puppet deathmatch victor, the true Champion of Champions!"

The crowd erupts into applause, a disturbing mix of horror, fear and respect in their eyes. Yet, as Emu lifts his beak in silent victory, one truth rings clear – in the puppet world, it's survival of the fittest.

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