Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen pretty much picks up where the last one left off in terms oft one and style, although its apparently two years further on. Witwicky ( LaBeouf ) is now on campus learning how to ramble incoherently and twitch uncontrollably in a classroom, whilst his marionette Mikaela (Megan Fox) is no more credible as a mechanic in this outing as she was a viable girlfriend in the last. It seems as if she is being presented as some sort of porn pin up for grease monkeys, with her jeans reflecting her acting ability, ragged and in short supply! One could be forgiven for imagining themselves in a seedy Soho Cinema waiting for a 'man in a mac' to begin howling with delight in the back row.
Anyway, the Autobots have formed an alliance to protect Earth from the Decepticons called Nest - no, I'm not sure what it stands for either, but it doesn't sound very macho does it? Never mind because Michael Bay has drafted in lots of muscle bound, shaven headed, gun toting Army boys. Meaning that at times it looks like we're at the wrong movie, that is until the explosions commence and anything with a cog turns into a mechanical threat by extending to twice its usual size.
Witwicky suffers a series of strange experiences that lead him to believe the threat of war is not over. Meanwhile Optimus Prime and his gadget friends are viewed by many as a threat and a danger to humanity in some quarters and so they prepare to leave the Earth unguarded. This leaves the door open for a Decepticon known as the Fallen to wage war, stomp about and do lots of nasty things to the ungrateful Humans. Our fate lies in Shia LaBeouf's hands - which is a truly terrifying prospect - as it is Witwicky who appears to be the key that could strengthen the cause of the Autobots, without even realising.
Revenge of the Fallen is a complicated return to the story that at times feels as if you are treading treacle and goes nowhere particularly fast. It had to be different to the First, I totally get that but it was a struggle to get to the end, and when the action explodes on the big screen it doesn't quite make up for the bum numbing moments in the same way the first one did. It tends to lack the (dare I say this without being mocked) sophistication and subtlety of the original and feels like it was a combination of two trains of thought stitched together in desperation. There is less humor and too much Megan Fox, who apparently had the temerity to criticize the film and so got the shove from the third installment. If she had any sense she would've kept quiet and milked the role of the vacuous, breast bulging, eye candy until she reached retirement age, especially with so little talent on display. Still, if the people at Bisto need a pouting bare bellied housewife to promote their granules, then look no further.
John Turturro reprises his role of Agent Simmons, he lifts scenes and draws a smile but even he struggles to find the funny side of this film. On the other hand, Witwicky's parents (Kevin Dunn and Julie White) prove to be completely pointless this time around, I suspect they were just grateful of the pay check, unlike Miss Fox!
I really wanted to like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen but it proved desperately underwhelming, working in brief flashes without ever enthralling. I subsequently skipped the cinema release of the next installment and waited for it to be released on DVD, once bitten twice shy is my motto. Transformers needed to Transform - into a much better movie.
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