Christopher Morley continues his look back at the 'pure historical' stories from Doctor Who, and this time we're off to Rome.
We come now to the Doctor's first visit to Ancient Rome- he'll be back in ten incarnations' time for The Fires Of Pompeii - but here the First's focus is most definitely on arguably the greatest empire known to man. The Egyptians might argue the toss, but retrospectively we've had only a series of brief glimpses of the land of the Pharaohs- the Osirians having shaped its culture according to Pyramids Of Mars, the First himself interrupting the construction of one of the great pyramids while pursued by the Monk & the Daleks as part of The DaleksMaster Plan & the Eleventh Doctor saving the great Queen Nefertiti from weapons-bearing locusts as an introduction to Dinosaurs On A Spaceship. Oh, and there's the small matter of River Song impersonating Cleopatra in The Pandorica Opens.
We come now to the Doctor's first visit to Ancient Rome- he'll be back in ten incarnations' time for The Fires Of Pompeii - but here the First's focus is most definitely on arguably the greatest empire known to man. The Egyptians might argue the toss, but retrospectively we've had only a series of brief glimpses of the land of the Pharaohs- the Osirians having shaped its culture according to Pyramids Of Mars, the First himself interrupting the construction of one of the great pyramids while pursued by the Monk & the Daleks as part of The DaleksMaster Plan & the Eleventh Doctor saving the great Queen Nefertiti from weapons-bearing locusts as an introduction to Dinosaurs On A Spaceship. Oh, and there's the small matter of River Song impersonating Cleopatra in The Pandorica Opens.
Here, though, the focus
is on the Emperor Nero. The First, Barbara, Ian & new arrival
Vicki Pallister (The Rescue) are enjoying the fruits of an
all too rare holiday from the pressures of time travel after 'Sexy'
materialises atop a cliff, promptly crashing to the ground (the
lead-up to which, as with many smaller events established in this
episode, is detailed in the short story Romans Cutaway, from
the More Short Trips literary anthology).
They've
chosen Rome in AD 64 as an agreeable destination, looking after the
villa of one Flavius Giscard - who's off on a military campaign in
Gaul (modern day France) presumably under the command of one Julius
Caesar. Traipsing off to the market with Barbara, the two ladies are
watched by slave traders Didius & Sevcheria...this can't possibly
end well.
Meanwhile Maximus
Pettulian, a lyre player scheduled to perform for the Emperor (as
well as plot to kill him) is assassinated. Back at the villa, the
Doctor's friends badger him as to whether or not they should check on
the TARDIS (which has most likely been parked somewhere nearby).
Assuring them that all will be well, he's perhaps sensed Vicki's
yearning to get out & explore - he allows her to accompany him
into Rome while Ian & Barbara stay on at the villa, Ms Wright's
offer to join them snubbed with the First telling her he doesn't need
a nurse. Charming!
All of which leaves the
place open to a surprise attack - & boy, do the two slave-drivers
deliver. Breaking in when Chesterton & his lady friend are at
their most relaxed, they take advantage when she shows how much she
loves him by accidentally whacking him with a jug while aiming for
Sevcheria. Unsurprisingly this results in capture for both. Things
aren't exactly dull for the Doctor & Vicki, either. They've found
Pettulian's body..& with the Doctor having picked up the poor
chap's lyre, he's accosted by a centurion. Turns out he's on the
lookout for the musician on Nero's behalf, an easier task than
grammatically correcting 'Romans Go Home' graffiti, for sure.
Gagging to meet the
Emperor, the Time Lord promptly pretends he's Maximus despite not
previously demonstrating even the tiniest jot of musical ability -
something he'll have to deal with a bit later on, hmm? Ian is quickly
bought as a slave & separated from Barbara – leaving her all
alone. If he's not careful the Doctor might struggle to live much
longer (getting himself out of the ' no discernible musical talent'
pickle at least) as an assassin waits to snuff him out while he
sleeps, no doubt dreaming of Cameca - that saucy minx.
Ably fighting off the
intended killer with a little help from his friend, they start to
solve the developing puzzle. Deciding to make their way to meet Nero
themselves, they've no clue that poor Barbara's currently languishing
in prison waiting for someone to snap her up at auction while Ian is
an oarsman on a slave ship.
He's at least made a
friend, though - a man by the name of Delos. Their initial escape
attempt flounders - just when it looks like Barbara might be bought.
Tavius is a representative of the Emperor, & quickly moves to
secure her services at auction (the sight of such a spectacle deemed
too much for Vicki by the Doctor, both unknowingly missing the chance
to save her).
The Doctor finally gets
his meeting with Nero- the Emperor insisting he must play at a
banquet organised in his honour. Trying to remember the exact tricks
Jimi Hendrix had taught him during a guitar lesson back in the
then-present days of the Swinging Sixties - playing with his teeth,
behind his back, while the instrument's on fire etc - he buys some
time by asking his host to play first, a chance he seizes upon.
Watching closely, he then copies Nero note for note. Clearly nothing
Hendrix taught him has stuck in his memory! Perhaps mercifully for
him the Emperor doesn't really notice- with Barbara now among his
slaves, its all gone a bit Carry On, He wants her bad - despite
the small matter of already being married to the Empress Poppea.
She
quickly warns Babs off trying any funny business, though its already
quite clear she's not remotely interested in stealing her husband.
Vicki's managed to
befriend a new chum, too - Locusta, the court poisoner. She's pretty
sure that one day soon she'll be asked to 'do in' her imperial
employer - who the Doctor's taken off to a sauna in the hope he'll
actually be able to work out what's really going on all of a sudden.
One of Vicki's chats with her new buddy is quickly cut short by the
Empress, who wants a certain slave girl poisoned..working out who it
is, Ms Pallister ingeniously switches the wine goblets so that it'll
be Nero who shuffles off this mortal coil. Telling the Doctor of her
brilliant scheme, he's horrified!
Still taking the 'you
can't rewrite history' line, he quickly makes sure Nero doesn't have
a drink after another slave's given he & the reluctant object of
his affections some wine. His wife's furious at the failure of her
plan to give her husband the ultimate lesson in marital fidelity &
sends Locusta off to jail, thinking it her fault that everything went
belly-up.
At the banquet that
evening ' Pettulian' is once again called upon to show everyone how
brilliant he is at playing his lyre - which he does, only by
explaining that his music is so well-crafted only the highest-attuned
ears can actually hear it (covering up the fact that he's forgotten
the chords to Purple Haze).
Amazingly everyone buys
that outrageous lie & pretends to be able to hear him pretending
to play. Which makes Nero jealous all of a sudden- maybe he's
forgotten that he's Emperor? Taking Barbara with him, they're off to
see a gladiatorial scrap, with Ian & Delos as opponents - after
being thrown in jail they're selected to fight in perhaps the hardest
arena of all, the legendary Coliseum. Chesterton eventually manages
to disarm his opponent but honourably refuses to kill him...
Commendable but
seemingly quickly proved a stupid decision when the tables are
turned. With sword ready to lop off Ian's head, Delos for some reason
(compassion?) changes his mind & instead goes for the watching
Emperor.
The two friends fight off the attentions of the Praetorian
Guard - Ian telling Barbara that he'll be back for her during a brief
reunion. Nero hears them, though, & hits on the bright idea of
using her as collateral in a bid to recapture her beloved & his
pal, who've probably failed their audition for further pugilistic
training by now.
In the confines of the
imperial palace, Poppea is busy ordering the luckless Tavius to 'sack' Barbara. Learning that Ian's intending on coming for her anyway
he promises to help find a way to smuggle him in as well as doing
what he can to stop 'Pettulian' from meeting a nasty death. The
Doctor & Vicki make something of a shocking discovery, too -
Nero's planning to build a new empire!
But how to get rid of
the existing version? The First by unhappy accident gives him the
perfect idea- burn it down. Initially absolutely fuming at this, the
Emperor quickly becomes convinced of its brilliance & resolves to
bring everything down with a healthy dose of fire.
A group of men,
including Ian & Delos (who join them merely to sneak past the
guards) are told they'll be paid well to have a little flaming fun.
Tavius quickly reunites Ian with Barbara & by now our awesome
foursome are legging it in their original pairings back to the villa.
It might be too late, though, as the Doctor & Vicki see the first
flames....
Its at this point that
the Doctor begins to realise his time-travelling might just be
starting to have an effect on Earth's history. His pondering probably
slows them up, as Ian & Barbara make it back first & change
into something approaching their normal clothes - the grump from
Gallifrey presuming the other two have just been lazy while all this
has been going on.
Putting together the
stories of their individual adventures in Rome, course is set for the
next TARDIS stopover- The Web Planet. During the journey the
Doctor might approach Chesterton with regard to a band he's considering
putting together - can the science teacher play drums or bass alongside
his host on lead guitar, hmm?
Previous Pure Historicals
The Reign Of Terror
Previous Pure Historicals
The Reign Of Terror
